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Goldsmiths' Official Student Magazine

Don’t worry, Theresa, ‘everyone is a little bit scared to do a TED talk…’

October 16, 2017
Emma Tyrrell, discusses the rhetoric of Theresa May and the wisdom of drunk, night-bus philosophers.

I take the bus home from working night shifts in central, Trafalgar Square in the early hours of the morning always makes for interesting encounters and following the snap election on the 8th of June, two gin-soaked passengers making the top deck of the 453 to Deptford Bridge smell like the bottom deck of an alcoholics liver, turned into philosophers. Talking politics and how, if at all, Theresa May articulates herself they argued, amongst sloshed mumblings, some notable points that left me thinking…

“If you were going to run a country you should at least be able to talk for five minutes… everyone is a little bit scared of a TED talk but mate… how have you managed to run a country when you can’t talk for five minutes?”

Certainly, Theresa May’s interviews and public speeches have left little to be desired. She swaps the detail and assurance the increasingly frustrated and lethargic public need for vacuous generalisations and regurgitated tag-lines with interview responses trapped in a frustrating circumlocution that avert answer.

The Prime Minister’s Brexit intentions are as yet vacant and un-specific, stretching to the notion that she is ‘very sure that [she] want[s] to get the best possible deal for the UK that works for everyone across the UK’; the whisky infused debater argues the point, “everyone is a little bit scared of a TED talk but mate… how have you managed to run a country when you can’t talk for five minutes”.

There is talk of the curation of a type of authoritarian ‘May-ism’, her robotic rapport certainly demotes May into a character. “I am Groot” swapped for “strong and stable” and the squeaky “meeps” of the Muppet show ‘Beaker’ type swapped for “Brexit means Brexit”. A cartoonization that has been manifested and elevated by the British public and the world. ’Memes’, political graffiti and artwork emphasising and ridiculing May’s “inhuman” configuration and placing her in homogeny with Mr. Fishfinger, Elmo, Lord Buckethead and Monster Raving Loonies.

As May has professed of herself, ‘[her] whole philosophy is doing, not talking’. Certainly, she has proved the latter part of herphilosophy and with Brexit talks reaching their zenith in the coming weeks, we can hope she proves the former. Otherwise she should mirror the plans of the drunk philosophers of the 453 and “just go home, have sex and eat some toast”.

Words and over-zealous photoshop image by senior politics editor, Emma, @emmajtyrrell