A mix of The Real of Housewives, the Marvel Cinematic Universe and my dog have kept me sane in a time where insanity seems to be winning. I guess, like most people, the thing I miss the most is socialising – not that I did it often, but It’s something I’ve been craving.
Over the past week, I have been thinking about all the coffee dates I could’ve had and all the dinner parties I would’ve suggested but never brought to life, plus all the mundane and obscure talking points I could’ve added to the many conversations I would’ve had if we weren’t facing the current crisis.
So, I had to come up with a way to entertain myself, and I did this by asking people for their opinions on very important topics-which included, haircuts, cowboy boots, Justin Timberlake and more.
Some names have been changed.
Vintage Shopping – Katrina Nzegwu
“For the gawky prepubescent, a vintage shop is a utopian escape; the promise of one’s imminent ability to travel in time, elude the mundane, participate in transformation and self determination. In post pubescence this excitement becomes tied to acquisition, the collected pieces on your clothes rack a silken, jewelled, pleated reminder that magic is only an outfit change away.”
Mark Wahlberg – Katrina Nzegwu
“In the age of Me Too and Times Up, where the phrase ‘men are trash’ has mutated from trite quip to solid fact, Marky Mark is a beacon of good Boston morals and rock hard abs, credentials which have secured him tenure in the highly exclusive Society for Unproblematic Male Celebrities (SUMC). Other members include zac efron, Liam and Chris Hemsworth, Henry Cavill and Terry Crews.”
Cowboy Boots – Lili Moran
“i searched ebay tirelessly for the perfect pair of cowboy boots.
i waited patiently for them to be a tangible entity in my hands, to put them on my feet. they pub crawled and danced the length of new cross road with us, and i wondered if they’d ever pub crawled or danced before. they haven’t done anything since, but sit amongst everything else i left in london.
i can’t wait for them to dance again.”
Lady Bird – Lili Moran
“i found familiarity and similarity in lady bird, and i recognized her relationship with her mother to be like my own with mine. We watched it together on mother’s day two years ago, and we cried, laughed, and cried again from start to finish. I’d been an objectively shitty daughter that morning, emotions were raw, as were my eyes. Gerwig had translated what I’d been feeling into an early nouhgties visual about Sacramento’s Christine ‘lady bird’ Mcpherson. Although unlike lady bird, I never managed to even attempt my driving test before leaving home for uni. Though I do always imagine what it would feel like to drive alone around the town I had to resent to love. (one day).”
Leopard Print – Chanel
“I love leopard print, was great in the early 00s and it’s great now. Maybe it’s a tad overdone but isn’t that fun? it became such a big trend last year that it actually reminds me of first year which I’m sure will be really nostalgic when I grow up lol”
Cold Brew – Chanel
“Cold brews remind me of my first year of uni mainly because I was in costa 3 times a day buying cold brews lol, those caffeine shakes were real. Wondering if coronavirus will let me see a cold brew this summer otherwise i’ll be perfecting my own”
Haircuts – Izzy
“I tend to cut my own hair, not from any arrogant idea that a hairdresser couldn’t achieve what I want but just because I’m both can’t really afford a good one (at least £40) and I also can’t really be bothered. I’m not particularly talented at it so the ends are never actually in line, making me more reluctant to find myself sitting in the hair dressers chair and have to hear them ask me why the ends are so uneven and have to admit the cardinal sin of hair cuts – that I let my untrained hands loose with cheap scissors and a comb.”
Astrology – Izzy
“I don’t think I’ve ever admitted this in writing, but I’m a secret astrologer. I mean not to the extent that I have paid for lessons or anything, but I have a few books and will do affirmations every new moon. Of middling astrological interest I’d say. Not too hardcore that I’d blame a murderers crimes on the fact they’re an unloved cancer or a socially isolated gemini, but enough that I’d call such facts out as contributing factors.”
Justin Timberlake – Riya Mistry
“JT + Timbo, Pharrell, Jay-Z, 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg, Beyonce, Drake, The Benjamin Wright Orchestra, TI, Three Six Mafia, Rihanna and will.i.am. All hold a special place in my heart. Why? Friends go. Family go. Figures once important to you disappear, sometimes in an instant. But JT has never left me……On the Metropolitan line in Year 9 at 8am listening to ‘Strawberry Bubblegum’ whilst reading literary classic, Little Women, squashed into the armpit of a smelly man, also on his daily commute. Or, 10 hours into an intense, highly-caffeinated, essay-writing session, accompanied by the soothing tones of ‘Set the Mood Prelude/ Until the End of Time’. JT and his collaborators have always been there.”
Fenty – Riya Mistry
“Yo Ri! Good to see you, cool trousers.” “Ahhh, thanks bro! Haha they’re pyjamas from Rihanna’s lingerie range. I spent £100 of my student loan (circa Christmas 2019) and invested in multiple pairs of matching animal-printed underwear and pyjamas. It’s like my uniform, it never ceases to make me feel sassy and snazzy. Highly recommend it. GoodGyal RiRi turns into BadGyal RiRi as soon as the green Tiger print is extracted from my wardrobe. Picture me strutting down Rye Lane to Bitch Better Have My Money.”
These responses have not been edited; and are all in the words of the respondents’.
Words, Will Ritchie @ritchie_will
Illustration, Lili Moran